I’m reflecting on all the past Christmas holidays in my life. I feel joy, sadness and the absence of loved ones, with another repeat of the same emotions except now it’s a different generation.
For my first 7 years of life I never knew there was a Christmas. My sister & her husband took my brother and I in as their own with their two children; all of a sudden the birth of Christmas was upon us. It was so magical – oh my gosh!! Everyone was laughing, we were decorating a tree, and hearing Christmas carols for the first time! Then we got to go shopping and pick presents for each other. I thought, “Really? We can do all this?!” I have to honestly tell you I loved all the energy in the joy of baking, decorating, singing Christmas Carols, driving around looking at lights, and just sitting around looking at the big beautiful Christmas tree full of presents. I don’t recall what the presents were; it’s the wonderful moments that I remember.
As we all got older everything started to change drastically in the family again and the moments began to fade. My sister would try with all that she had left to bring back the essence of it all but so much damage was done by then that our spirits were all broken. However, trinkets of the spirit of Christmas still remained with me.
On becoming an adult I built on the memories passed on from my sister, always wanting to recreate those memories on my own and even more so with my own children, passing on the gift of Christmas that my sister first bestowed upon me. I would have family and friends at my home and I began to feel some of the magic again.
Loved ones started to pass on and again I began feeling a shift. But when my sister passed on everything emotionally came crashing down on me! That one person who saved me in so many ways was no longer with me in flesh. The family separated even more and my biggest struggle was not quitting. I am still here and so are my husband & kids. I must continue to pass on the love of the Christmas spirit, after all it is Jesus that I spent so many hours over the years pouring my heart out to, for he was teaching me and carrying me when I couldn’t do it myself.
Things continue to change as they always do. My son Brandon moved away to start his adult life. Starting with his college we are seeing him less and less now; I’m also missing other loved ones here and in the spiritual realm. I am staying in the energy of love & gratitude, for I have my husband, daughter, and our two beautiful Shelties. My son is a strong spirit with a divine purpose here; I knew this from the first time I looked into his eyes. I always knew that he would have a full life, and that I needed to embrace him in my arms as much as I could, so I did. Now I have my daughter to scoop up in my love and enjoy watching her transform into her own.
Every day I thank Jesus for all that I am blessed with. All that I have is a gift of life, a life I wouldn’t have been able to create if it wasn’t for my strong relationship with spirit and the thousands of Our Fathers I prayed throughout my life.
It isn’t easy, and no one said it would be, for it is all a blessing if we can just keep on recreating the magic.
I wish you all a very Merry Christmas with all the love & magic that you can muster up!
Brightly with love,