I Have A Secret


I lived a secret my whole life, a secret that was so dear to me that was was so full of love and hope. A secret that I wanted to share and give to others, the problem was so many lived in fear and were full of judgments because of their fears. When I brought this up to them they would become defensive – our defense comes from our minds fighting with our spirit’s truth.

My first emotional feeling that I remember is “fear”. I had fear all around me, there were so many fights emotionally and physically with those that I loved, I would hide and watch the pain inflicted on my mother by these men that had lost all hope in their own lives, taking advantage of my mother and raping her, leaving her passed out, sometimes I too was apart of these actions. I learned to master how not to be noticed, keeping my breath very shallow, keeping so still that I could almost feel myself disappearing to avoid the pain these people would pass through our home. My mother gave up in her own soul as well, thinking that there wasn’t any good in mankind. She has loved deeply and been betrayed deeply to the point of if you can’t beat them join them; this is when I started seeing them beat her up emotionally & physically even more than when she still had hope inside of her.

As a little girl I found kinship with the animals and insects, this is part of my journey of knowing that we’re all energy. Just like the loving energy that I would feel comfort me when I was so full of fear and tears. I didn’t know exactly who it was, I just knew “spirit” loved me and soothed my pain. They communicated with me telepathically; no words were exchanged, and this was natural. I spoke very little when I was a little girl, I spent so much time alone that I created my own language. The only one that was able to make sense of me was my brother. The most communication I had was with my personal relationship with spirit; most would call it “imaginary friends”. That is what the grown ups would call it when they that couldn’t explain or care to listen, their fears and judgments were already in place.

Spirit would always try to calm my anxiety down. My fear ran so high that I had a hard time doing this; but their love was so warm and strong, it is a love beyond our understanding here. I would absorb this love up and allow it to blanket me and fall asleep to it. I would beg them not to leave me, they assured me they were always with me. I remember them sharing with me that all of this is part of my life purpose and I will understand it one day – that I was much stronger than I realize.

When I got older I recall my sister would tell me I lived like an animal back than (she & her husband rescued me from the environment with my mother). You know in a sense I was like an animal, I lived solely by my instincts. I didn’t have the care of adults around me, I didn’t have a language that was known to mankind, I spoke very little, and was guided only by my instincts. I would disappear in a room and be an observer. I was able to feels other’s energy, their emotions, thoughts and their next course of actions. I was surprised that these people were not able to pick up on the things I was sensing and fall into these traps they set for each other. The other big thing I noticed was that even though they didn’t show it, they also had much fear inside of them. Very rarely would you hear someone say what they were really feeling from their soul. When one person did, they were cast out with the anger from these people – how dare they say what all of them wanted to but wouldn’t dare, for the fear of change or admitting they were wrong.

When my sister & her husband took me in is when I started getting educated on how to speak English and go to school to gain knowledge, playing with real kids, going to bed at night in a clean warm bed, eating actual meals; life started to change. I started to feel like I belonged somewhere that might bring hope and give me the ability to escape my fears.

I still knew that spirit was with me; my instincts were still the wisdom of my soul. I tried speaking of this a few times, and right away got knocked down for it. I started to feel pushed away, so immediately I would shut it all down. I wanted to feel like I belonged even though I knew something wasn’t “real” in this thing that I wanted to belong to – it wasn’t real like the spiritual realm. I felt I was trapped on this Earth and had to find a way to survive in it and not tell anyone my secret.

I would use my instincts / knowing throughout my life without letting my secret out by giving what some would call “advice”. In reality I was sharing what was being relayed to me from a spiritual knowing. So many would ask me how I knew the things that I did, I would say oh I don’t know I just guessed. There were a couple of times I tried to tell where and I could see immediately they would get uncomfortable and start pulling away; so again I would turn it into a joke and say I was guessing!

I went through a few periods of my life drowning my spiritual side out, and this is when my life turned into a living hell. It gave me a whole new meaning of “fear”. I started seeking spirit again, begging for forgiveness for forsaking them. I would turn back to spirit and rely once again on them. Of course they were there, just waiting on my return. With each return to spirit I became stronger and stronger, being able to get over the hurdles in my life. I learned what didn’t work, I also learned spirit was the only way to freedom of the bondage we feel in our human flesh with man made beliefs. Even though people claim their dogma is from God, is it really? God doesn’t manipulate, judge, reject another person / soul because of their ways. I love the Bible for it shares so many examples, like the one where Jesus invited Matthew the tax collector to eat a meal with his disciples and the religious people became upset; Jesus shared the words of wisdom of His Father that he came for everyone.

To make a long story short, spirit has been preparing me for a long time to do the work I do, which is my secret with spirit. It took me until 4 years ago to get the courage to start the process of doing this. Why did it take me so long? Because I never knew what it was like to belong; the only way I could belong is by going with man made beliefs. I knew when I tried before I was shut out of the spiritual realm. I knew that by choosing spirit I was going to be shut out by many on Earth, but spirit also showed me it will be from those that cling to their religious dogma the strongest that will cast me out, and it has been so.

Does it break my heart that these people shut me out? Yes! My husband & kids are rejected as well (from members of their own family). I don’t hold anger toward these people, I will still welcome them into my home and fix them a good meal, give them a warm bed, help them in need as spirit shows me. Even though I know we are not welcome, as Jesus said to his father “Forgive them Father for what they do not understand”.

My husband is a Godly man, he doesn’t preach at you, judge or ridicule you, he lives by the golden rule “Treat others as you would like to be treated”. My children are gifted as well, both as little kids when they were able to communicate from their Godly self, they would share with me seeing loved ones in the afterlife. Our son Brandon pointed to Mama (grandma) – in spirit she was standing next to him. He too has strong instincts, a knowing that only comes from spirit. Brandon & I would talk telepathically to each other for it was just the two of us for a while there. I hadn’t paid attention that we were doing this until he started school and they said he had a speech impairment. I was shocked, they started asking questions about how we communicate in the house and that is when I took noticed of what we had been doing. Our daughter Maria she sees loved ones that have crossed over, she has met her spirit guide, she sees spirits trapped between worlds. Both of these kids are wise with spirit that comes from them, not of my influence or teaching. I bless them with them owning their gifts and that they use them wisely in this world. Since birth I would lay down with Brandon at night for prayers, saying the Lord’s Prayer then start opening up communication with spirit. Every morning driving to school Maria & I will say the Lord’s Prayer with added sharing from our heart. No we don’t go to church every Sunday, yes God is in our hearts every single day and mentioned in our home, our home is full of love and you can see and feel the spirit of God in our home by the way we live and treat each other and those that come into our home.

Yes I am doing what I have been guided to do by spirit by creating Inner Spirit Rhythm. It has been a bumpy road for I was still very nervous doing it, yet I knew I had to. After all it’s part of my divine purpose here. I started off taking on man made beliefs regarding spirit and again I started to feel shame with spirit, for I wasn’t trusting them completely. Spirit reminded me how they protected me as a child and throughout my life, they still will if I would trust & have faith in their teachings. So I am keeping it loyal to their ways, after all this is a gift for a divine purpose. Yes I charge a price, so does the church, it is all tithing – that is how it is shown to me. I don’t take advantage of people and I give way more than what is asked for. I don’t post on the social media to brag about the powerful readings shared, I give in the name of spirit and let it go in peace.

For those that say you love me but have to reject me and my family, so let it be. Also I like those to know my family still loves and welcomes you in our home in our hearts as Jesus does.

My secret is that I love God and the whole kingdom of heaven. It is this truth that saved my soul from darkness, it is this truth that gifted me with my instincts to know what is of man and what is of God, it is this truth that I have been blessed with my husband, children & dogs. If living this truth bares the pain of the hurt of others that don’t match their religious beliefs, I pray for you too, as we keep marching in our faith always with love for all of you.


~Lisa Salaz

It’s no wonder……


Why so many give up and get desperate; there are so many broken promises and false expressions of love and support out there. This last year I have been sitting back and observing this more than ever on social media and hearing it in the community around the world. People withdraw more & more into their own very private village, better described as a cocoon.

I have been pondering deeply on this, why so many act like they care about the world & the people, yet they stay in their cocoon….being completely honest with myself, digging deeper into the core of my own soul looking for answers to so many why’s?

First I ask myself how many times have I been guilty of this and why. What was I really feeling at the time when this was happening through me? What about those broken promises of my own? This is no longer about blaming anyone else but myself. This was there for me, so what was it? As I am feeling deep into my soul in the moment, I could feel so badly that I wanted to give to another what I really felt they deserved, I just didn’t feel worthy enough to follow through. Why? Either I didn’t have the financial means to deliver on the promise or it was never really in my reach to deliver. I left feeling shameful, embarrassed and guilty for promising something I couldn’t deliver. Needing to band aid my poor behavior, I was coming up with false reasons to justify my broken promises, leaving me feeling that much more full of shame and guilt.

The thing is I was able to tell by looking into the eyes of those I was speaking to they didn’t believe me either, they were just going along with my reasons. What could they really say? It wasn’t like I was going to disagree with my own reasons. I hear myself saying, “Lisa why did you promise something you couldn’t deliver (or chose not to)?” I was hoping something would happen to change my situation so I could follow through. And there was a time where I was just wanting someone to like me or take me in that moment for whatever that may have been. That moment was really nothing to remember. I just wanted acceptance and became desperate for it.

Ah the broken promise that I chose not to deliver is even more painful to admit to myself and out loud. I have to say a sense of jealously and envy was around me like a cloak. The idea of benefiting another path that my own lacked, the ill feeling I felt deep inside of me left little confidence that I could bring any value to a promise in my own path or for another. This was just another reminder of how I felt like an epic failure. I didn’t realize this at the time, but genuinely helping another paved the path for me as well. As the saying goes “What goes around comes around”; when you give authentically from your God-like self, you will take notice of how blessings circle back into your life as well.

Another scenario I felt was when I was asked to do something, I really didn’t feel like I wanted to help, and I knew I wasn’t truly planning on showing up. I just knew I would come up with a good reason for bailing out later. I was feeling pressured that if I didn’t say “yes” I would be looked down upon, so I avoided that feeling by saying yes and finding a way to bail out. I left feeling bad that I didn’t want or wasn’t interested in helping. You see I was always forced to do things if I wanted to or not, never having a say, so I always felt anger which was always brought forward into my life.

These are the few feelings I had surface when I put myself back in those moments of being guilty in broken promises. This is what I was feeling deeply that had an effect on my words and my deeds or lack of deeds. I was very insecure even though on the outside I showed confidence through my attitude. I was afraid to say how I really felt, for as a young child growing up I was always getting in trouble for it from the adults in my life and being told to act the way they said was right, regardless of what I thought or felt about it. They was tell me to go along with it or I would be shamed. So I learned to say whatever was needed or I thought was expected of me. My true feelings were looked at as nonsense and devalued. I took notice of how beings have a tendency to value each other by looks and financial status. So I was always trying or I should say acting like I was in the game! God how I hated myself throughout this whole facade that was exhausting, pointless and above all painful to my body, mind & spirit!!

This is what I happened to me when I disconnected from my soul and followed mankind’s beliefs. When I asked why I should follow those beliefs, I was always told “Because that’s the way it’s always been done”. In my own personal relationship with spirit I knew from early on these situations were to challenge us to take a stand on what is right from our God-like self and be blown around in the twists and turns of mankind. I felt overwhelmed, I felt mankind holds the power here on Earth and they have no fear of God. If I don’t follow the beliefs of this world, I will be an outcast. I wanted to be loved, wanted, needed and accepted with a sense of belonging. If I wanted these things I would have to play along: so I put my personal relationship with spirit on the back burner. This is when I felt my soul fell into turmoil, I was confused, lost, and was steadily losing all control of my life, sinking deeper in dysfunctional emotional & physical behavior.

The screams of agony in my soul would cry out “Why can’t I just be me?!”

I could feel the love of spirit moving in closer to me. I felt like I was being cradled, meaning I could feel how soothing their love was trying to comfort me and bring me back to truth. I was still unsure because I didn’t see how this would work; after all look what happened to all those who walked in God’s name. They endured much suffering for it. Before I could even finish, spirit showed me how rewarded those who came before me were, blessed richly for their deeds. They gave the people hope and promise for eternity.

So first I needed to start by forgiving myself – I had a trunk full of guilt built up inside of me, which made a huge impact on my confidence. This was done by spirit showing me that they knew my heart and pain, the reasons behind it and they also knew how much I wanted to do good. Therefore I have their blessings; they are waiting on me and my peace was with them first. Forgiving myself made it so much easier to forgive others in my life that started this roller coaster of destruction. I knew many of my actions towards others wasn’t really about them, it was being passed on, and on..I was passing it on too – it had to stop here and now, starting with me.

This is when I started breaking out of my cocoon, transforming into my true colors. I was still timid as I started to take flight and I promised myself I was not turning back. I was going to trust my internal spirit and not go back to where I was when I was detached from spirit. I still had to face rejection and judgments, but this time I would listen to the whispers of my soul and how to cope with that, being reminded to use my past experience to help me understand with compassion, which eases up the frustration and judgments upon others.

Spirit showed me the importance of helping the community by using my personal gifts and talents where and when I am needed. This knowledge will be a calling in my soul, it is these projects that have a soul purpose to help another out. If you are moved to help someone in their passionate calling or for their healing, there is a way you can be a part of it. There are many ways that help can be provided. For example if a family lost their house to a fire, a leader steps forward asking the community to help and build this family a practical home, needing help from others that can provide time, talent and expertise to get the task done. Money, materials, labor and much more is needed; there is room for everyone to contribute. There is a need for a bookkeeper, errand runners, someone to bring food for the workers, someone who can loan machines needed for the job, even donating from a business that could help this project. If everyone came together from their God-like self, there would be a house built utilizing these talents, and the reward each would feel in their soul afterwards is a feeling that is too big for words.

If I am not able to give something of myself, I am honest up front with an honest reason and I let it go. I no longer need to be defensive about it. I know in my heart if there is something that I can do I will. We feel in our hearts when it is a soul movement. I no longer look for approval by looks or financial status. I always make a point to treat others how I would like to be treated.

I am with joy & peace in my heart. I give thanks for every day, including my challenges. I know each one is a gift to improve my soul’s purpose for being here on this Earth at this time. I don’t take things personal; of course things at times sadden me. However I know that if I did all I could do then I did my part. This part had a bigger purpose that isn’t known to me at this time, I just need to stay in movement.

We are not here alone, we have each other. Spread your wings and take flight where you can make a difference – this is what you will be remembered for.

Always with love & blessing to each of you,

~Lisa Salaz